What you shouldn’t say to someone who’s adopting

Angelina Jolie and children, Maddox Jolie-Pitt and Pax Jolie-Pitt. Photo by Canadian Press/REX/Shutterstock (9050824y)

So your friend is adopting a baby. What an exciting, but also pretty stressful, time for her. You want to be as supportive as possible, so here are some things never to say to someone who is adopting.

My cousin adopted and it was a disaster

Even if you have heard an adoption horror story or two via personal contacts or on the news, this is definitely not something you should share with someone who’s about to adopt. This time is stressful enough without adding more things to worry about.

Now you’ll probably get pregnant

This is another one where you might have heard the odd story about someone who adopts, only to find that they conceive shortly afterward. Although you might mean well, you might give the impression that the adopted child will not be as special as a biological one would be.

It’s going to cost you a fortune

Yes, adopting a baby can be expensive, just as all babies are expensive. But don’t ask how much. It’s invasive and the child is not a purchase. Instead, ask if she needs anything for the baby if you want to help.